Tag Archives: conversations

I was going to make a Game of Thrones reference here but that only makes it worse

30 Jul

My brother once argued with me about going to a movie together, claiming that people would assume that we were boyfriend/girlfriend instead of brother/sister. I poo pooed the idea on the premise that anyone with eyes could read our body language and see that there is nothing romantic there, besides the fact that he’s ten years younger than I am and annoying as fuck half of the time.  But I forgot the universal truth that people are stupid. At home this wouldn’t really matter because any attractive men in this town are long since married or on their third divorce. When you choose to stay in your small hometown after high school/college, you generally get married young, mostly out of boredom would be my guess. (Unless your name is Carrie, in that particular case you married your soul mate and you are damn lucky.)

Anyway, the point being I thought my brother was being ridiculous and even I get bored with going to things alone so I wore him down and now we often see nerdy movies together. (Where I have been known to punch him in the ear when he gets more annoying than usual.)

Then we all went to Florida on a family vacation and the argument was turned on its head. While getting out of Space Mountain at Disney Hayden, my nephew, was referred to as our child. (Whaaaaa?!) My brother and I looked at each other in horror but said nothing because really, how could you possibly make this situation better? By embarrassing the poor kid running the ride?
As a girl who is as single as single gets, I do enjoy the occasional flirtation that happens away from home but I was being cockblocked by my own brother! That is a very strange feeling and I don’t like it. In the three instances of mild flirt that I got up to while in Florida, all three happened when I was alone or at least half a dozen steps away from anyone in my family. I’m not sure which is more distressing, that I look married or that I look like I would be married to my little brother. Oi.

Needless to say, the geeky thing I hopefully have planned to go to in St. Louis will be sans brother. (He wants to go but I told him that was only happening if he brought a friend along. At least then someone could assume that I could handle two twenty-something’s. And that’s better? Maybe? Who knows.)


Too long for Twitter, not long enough for its own post (or story of my writing)

25 Jun

I took my nephew to see Man of Steel this past weekend and they were having trouble with the projector so it started about 20 minutes late. While we were sitting there waiting, staring at a blank screen, my nephew leans over and whispers, “This movie is awesome! Thanks a lot for taking me, Aunt Bri!” He is such a shit. I adore him.

I have an unimaginable amount of useless knowledge rattling around in my brain, but don’t ask me where South Dakota is, apparently I delete states that I consider unimportant. (This happened and my mother was mortified.)

I was never one of those girls who had obsessive crushes on celebrities or even boys I went to school with. I didn’t want to know anything about a band because that would have potentially ruined the music for me. I had an actual opportunity to meet a celebrity that I admired and enjoyed and I turned it down because I didn’t want to take the chance that the reality of him would ruin my movie watching, but if I were to run into a certain British actor all of that caution would go out the window. Hello. I am a 36 year old woman and I have my first crush on a celebrity. Were we to meet, it would be love, I’m telling you. (Mostly kidding. Mostly.)

In three weeks I will be in Florida, geeking my little heart out over Disney, Harry Potter, Marvel superheroes, and movie magic. I am so excited to be taking my first vacation in four years that I can hardly contain myself. If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook that week, I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.

The crazies. They love me.

14 Aug

I’m having the worst week of PMS ever. And the heat is not helping. Ick.

The last two days I have spent  listening to jets flying overhead as they practiced for the air and water show this weekend. (At least, that is what I was told on Twitter and Facebook.) I would hardly have noticed with the passing trains but the sound isn’t something that Bogart is used to and he spent the last two days running to the closest window when one would go by, looking for the source of the sound and then crying when he couldn’t see or identify what was making the SCARY NEW SOUND. Over and over and over and OVER again he did this until I was going to surely lose my mind. It’s been fun, really.

I met BFP downtown for dinner tonight and as we were walking down the sidewalk a man yelled at us about the “damn kids” as we passed each other and continued to yell about “kids” as he kept walking. BFP got really tense and kept turning back like he wanted to yell at the man or something. I made some comment about the guy being confused, after all we are hardly kids. Um, so apparently I misheard him because BFP was really upset and actually thought about decking the guy until he realized the man was obviously off mentally. He hadn’t said anything about “kids”, he was loudly commenting on how much he liked my “tits”. Yeah. Interesting.

And then. We had the wedding discussion. There were a group of girls trying to flag down a cab, and one of them was sporting a veil with her club dress.

BFP: Does that mean it’s a bachelorette party?

Me: Yeah, looks like it.

BFP: That’s weird.

Me: Yep. Goes with all that big wedding stuff that I want NOTHING to do with, god save me from the crazy. (I haz strong opinions about weddings.)

BFP: I thought all girls dream of the big wedding.

Me: Not THIS girl. Pretty dress and a justice of the peace is fine with me.

BFP: How about Vegas?

Me: Hell, I’ll happily get married by Elvis, but the pretty dress is non-negotiable.

BPF: Gotcha.

This discussion is always amusing when you get to that really committed, sort of permanent part of the relationship when you start feeling the other out on their expectations of “the future”. Basically, I’m saying, “Don’t worry, we don’t need to save for a year to pay for the wedding, hell, we can go next week if you really want to, I just need enough time to buy a dress. Just FYI.”

I’m cheap. And easy.

Wait. What?

So that’s been the last couple of days. I’m crazy hormonal and uncomfortably hot. The dog is driving me batty, and a crazy man on the street made lewd  comments about my boobs, very loudly. And, honestly, I think his were bigger. Oh, and I heard “damn kids” like he was a villain on Scooby-doo.

My life is strange.


Thanks for listening,


Shit my boyfriend says

9 Jul

The commercial for Eclipse plays and I watch his face and wait…..

Him: (making a face) Fucking vegetarian vampires!

Me: They eat bears and mountain lions.

Him: What?!

Me: They’re vegetarians in that they drink the blood of bears and mountain lions instead of people.

Him: Ok.

Me: Its not like they drink the blood of rats or something.

Him: That would almost be better.

Me: You can’t have a romance with a vampire that drinks rat blood!

Him: Exactly! Now THAT would be a challenge! That’s the kind of book I would read!

Me: sigh.

%d bloggers like this: